babysit
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: hachiman's cousin does things to his heart


One day, Hachiman was jerking off to memes on his computer when his wanking session was interrupted by his father.

"Shit son i need you to babysit your cousin Shiraha."

"What no dad i'm nawt gonna look after that down syndrome fuck," Hachiman protested.

"I know son by neither do I, you can ask Komachi if she wants to babysit her."

"Dude she's fucking 27 why the fuck would she still need babysitting?"

"Some people are just born retarted. This is why abortion should be made mandatory."

Later that evening Hachiman asked Komachi whether she want to take his place. Unfortunately she was planning on heading to Hayama's place for Netflicks n chillz that day so no.

Two weeks later, the cousin came. Damn she ugly! Her face was unnaturally flat, her eyes were smol and cold, her mouth twisted into a grotesque shape resembling a hoe giving bj and overall is a 0/10. Hachiman had to keep himself from puking.

His uncle thanked him before leaving. From the way he ran it is clear that he wanted to stay as far away from his daughter as possible. But who could blame him?

Soon as the uncle left. Shiraha sperged out.

"Rrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Shut the fuck up you bitch!" Hachiman tried to calm her down, this only led to the opposite effect, and Shiraha began crying and breaking stuff.

"Oh shit mom gonna kill me!" Hachiman screamed as Shiraha smashed open her remote controlled vibrator.

After Shiraha had destroyed everything, she began beating herself repeatedly with her fist. This is the only time that Hachiman didn't intervene, because he wanted her to die.

"Die you fucking bitch you down syndrome nigger FUCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING OMFG!"

Shiraha began tearing at his clothes. Hachiman grabbed his hair, not believing the shit that is unfolding.

"OK BITCH I HAVE TOLERATED YOU THUS FAR NOW IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE FOR REAL." Hachiman hollered as he started beating the chromosomes out of Shiraha.

"Die nigger die nigger why the fuck are you still alive nigger? You fucking down syndrome shitlord go suck a cock or suck my fist instead dumb nigger bitchass nigger nigger fucking nigger!" Hachiman chanted as he whipped Shiraha back and forth. However, he suddenly felt like he could not breathe and he collapsed onto the flor and blacked out.

Allah was waiting for him the other side. Allah said, peace be upon his almighty, "My son, do not act rash, do not tempt choler, for thou shalt hold regrets verily. Repent, my child, go back and fixeth the broken relationship that is thee and thy cousin."

Then Allah started chanting a spell.

"Allahu Akbar! Aloha Snackbar! Alibaba Edgar! Orlando Fagbar!"

A cloud enveloped hachiman's body.

Hachiman woke up.

Shiraha was looking at him with concerned eyes. "Reeeeeee is awake thoust?"

Hachiman felt like punching her. But then he suddenly remembered Allah's wise words. So he kept quiet and , for reasons unknown, he suddenly felt the urge to pet her head.

"Perhaps i can feel just how empty it is inside." Hachiman snickered.

So he went to pat Shiraha's head, half-expecting her to sperg out again. That is why while petting her head, he had tugged in his left leg, ready to strike any time.

However, Shiraha started to tear up. This surprises him, for he thought that down syndrome niggers feel no emotions.

Just then, something strange happened.

The earth began to vibrate, and suddenly cloud began to fill the room. Hachiman covered his face. When he reopened his eyes, the most beautiful girl was standing in front of him.

"Who are you?" Hachiman asked as a boner began to form. Just then he realised that she's wearing Shiraha's shirt!

"My name is Yun Yun."

Apparently, Yun Yun was a wizard who was cursed by the darkest of deities— dark lord— and she took the form of a down syndrome dysfunctional retard. The cure to the curse was a voluntary headpat from another party, making it difficult for her to break the spell because nobody in the right mind would want to pet a down syndrome's head. What if there is excess chromosomes in the hair follicles?

"Oh how could I repay you!" Yun Yun teared up. Hachiman wiped away her tears. She is so beautiful. Her skin glowed like chernobyl. She is literally a goddess.

Hachiman could not resist it anymore.

He wrapped himself around Yun Yun and kissed her passionately. Yun Yun returned the kiss. Outside, Hachiman's dad was looking through a binoculars with a hard on— he always wanted to feel Hachiman's soft lips.

Moral of story:

Allah is great because allah can turn miracles by transforming down syndrome hopeless retard into a beautiful girl so please believe in allah and pray often at your neighborhood mosque. Inshallah!


End file.
